So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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