I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
your like the ambassador to my penis.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
