Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize