just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
