I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
