Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
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