I love black thongs
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
