I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize