One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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