is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
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