First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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