If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
