We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
