i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
