why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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