Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
