Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
