She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
