I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
