hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
this is an emotional support booty call
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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