Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I party with great urgency now.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
