I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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