If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
