He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
