my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Life without a bra equals bliss.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
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