I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
