goodnight i made you a song goodbye
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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