Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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