Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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