bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
