im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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