At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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