Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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