Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You made out with two different species that night
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
