its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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