i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
