Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
