you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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