I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
it was like his penis was on wheels.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize