I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
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