i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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