Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
