I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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