doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
