the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i was born a porn star she said
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
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