she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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