i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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