I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
