Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
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