I wish my penis had an off switch
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
