Duck Duck Cougar?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
