i always forget guys have bellybuttons
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
It's never too late to be topless.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
