Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(541): View more from Oregon

You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth

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(423): View more from Tennessee

I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.

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(281): View more from Texas

Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.

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(562): View more from California

WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?

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(949): View more from California

'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear

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(760): View more from California

Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.

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(254): View more from Texas

I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine

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(309): View more from Illinois

Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.

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