***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Is this like a preordered booty call?
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