I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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