So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
FUCK WHALES
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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