If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
they're like a gay fantastic four
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
