what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
3pm strippers are depressing
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize