I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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