And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
