dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize